If you want to have the life you want, one of the most important skills to master is learning how to make things happen even when your circumstances don’t create the ideal conditions for success. That can mean adjusting your definition of success, it can mean taking a different path to get there, it can mean adding steps to make things work, or accepting help along the way. In my life I have had plenty of practice at this. Recently, I have been in a constant state of learning and adjusting to make things work as a new mom.
I have known since I was a little girl that I wanted to be a mom someday. During high school, I started to think about how it would play out with my disability. I wasn’t worried that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant (What a surprise infertility was – but that’s a story for another day.), I was worried about how pregnancy and childbirth would go. I fall down a lot, obviously not good for a pregnant person. I was also worried about some of the details of caring for a new baby – in particular how I would carry one around. I remember telling my mom about my fear – that my baby would not like the way that I walked, that my heavy and jerking steps and would wake/upset/scare the baby. She assured me that it would be fine – that after being in my belly for nine months it would be used to the way I walked and not bothered in the least. I believed her – and clung to that for more than 15 years.
So, many years pass, and after a whole lot of infertility hullabaloo, including IVF, I found myself pregnant. With twins.
As great as she is, my mom was wrong! My babies were/are not lulled to sleep by my special gait. The jerky motions jar them awake. Luckily, I have adapted. Well, adapted/found solutions that work for me and my family. I have a great husband who does most of the carrying of the babies. If he is not around, then I get creative. This has included me scooting on my butt using one hand while holding two squirming babies in the other. It has also been me waking up a sleeping baby while trying SO HARD to get up and put her in her crib without waking her (this never works for me. Like never, not once.).
Besides sleeping, I am still figuring out how to make other things work with a kid (or two) in tow. In fact, I had never taken one of my kids out in public totally by myself, until about a week ago. I took one kid and we did a Saturday morning Target run. There are no pictures of this outing. Now that I have this blog, I really wanted to document this trip to share with you all, but honestly – keeping track of my kid and then keeping her happy while I spent WAY TOO LONG looking around (typical Target run, right?) were the focus. I used a harness and leash to keep track of her while we walked in the store.
Side note: is there a better name for this than leash? I unapologetically use this with my kids to keep them safe and myself sane while we are in public, but I wish it conjured less pictures of dogs in my head.
Then I put her in the cart. THis was my first experience lifting a kid into a cart (I’m pretty late to this party). But, you guys – why are these so high? It was nearly a fail for this short mommy. Getting her out of the cart took a few tries, but we managed.
We managed! I am psyched about this, people! Since before my girls, I have had this picture in my head of taking them to the store and just being a mom. And I did it, finally! Now on to taking them both someplace.